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by Monach

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1.
A Good Start 04:22
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I wonder if I'll always wonder about this, the tiniest things tethered to fragments of you. Dug out, hollowed by your words laid out - I can't bear to read them now. And I can't help but think about it all now; The years that I knew you, the years I let you slip away. I'm damning the distance, I'm cursing the trajectory But it's my fault, my fears and I'm sorry. Too little, too late, and it's always that way. Choked up, burning out, letting myself drown, But you wouldn't want that. You wouldn't. You'd tell me to stop it. You would. I've been losing sleep, scared you were scared, But you wouldn't show it. You wouldn't. You were stronger than that, yeah, you were. In hospital beds, our mirrored states, The light growing to expire, disappearing grace. Wish those blue eyes would close when they'd seen enough. Was it? Did you find some peace of mind? Did you find some sort of comfort? Did you let your hope subside? Were you smiling into that good night? I hope you found some peace of mind. I hope you found some sort of comfort. I hope love carried you gently into that good night. Bury what wasn't said and done in the garden and let it rest. Let these words echo out, resonate and reach you somehow. And I know you'd probably prefer a fast one, but this is yours all the same. A memorial to keep you safe, to preserve your shine. I'll keep you in mind. This is how I keep you alive.

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released September 24, 2021

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Monach Kingston, Ontario

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