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Duner

by Monach

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1.
A Good Start 03:48
You keep the door closed to keep me wondering. It's different, you're different and I like you for that. And this is how I remember it all when it started. So thank you kindly for taking me back, but not letting me get lost. You said you love the fall the most when the trees are all coloured in. I used to say I love winter, but now I don't know. It's the small things between us I never take the time to say. It's the quieter moments where we don't say anything and that's okay. I'll be searching through my sleep, so dream a dream with me, darling. And I think we're off to such a good start. I tried to listen with my heart, but my brain loves control and it's always acting right. So I sailed the seas alone, tried to follow a map from long ago. You said 'there's just no need, you'll know when you are home." You said you love the city when it's swallowed by the lights. I used to love the quiet and the night. It's the small things between us I never take the time to say. It's the quiet moments where we don't say anything and that's okay. I'll be searching through my sleep, so dream a dream with me, darling. And I think we're off to such a good start. I think we're off to such a good start.
2.
I wanna feel myself cemented, Unravelled roots in a straight line. I wanna see it for what it really is, not the glow that gets stuck in my eyes. I wanna be stuck in the present, Stop sinking hours into the dead. Learn to turn myself around when I head south after a daydream narrative. I wanna say it like I mean it, Unfiltered sentiments clear and brimming. Lift the weight, the safety net. Put my blood into every word. I wanna be enough for someone, Like that'll make me good enough for me. But I'm always so tired, everything is a chore. So I guess 'we'll start tomorrow' or sometime more.
3.
Caught myself looking back, flipping to that old page. I swear I've read it more times than I remember, but the feeling never changed. So I thought we'd go back if I said the right words. Never mind time and growing older, just the thought of that old warmth. It's true when they say 'there's no place like home.' Five four and two. It means so much more to me. And now these old streets, they leave us animals restless. Everywhere's a temporary residence, and I miss how it used to be. We decorated the ceiling every night, and forgot how to walk in straight lines. We made a mess of ourselves, but we did it better than anyone else. And the bar scene, it grew. It swelled like a wave and it took us out to sea. And all I wanted from the moment it started was to walk back through that door, and I miss how it used to be. So thanks for the memories. Thanks for being there. Thanks for the slurred confessionals, the blurred blackouts, and never-ending nights. All I can really say is that house still feels like home, And it's distant now but I'll never let it go. We blared our music loud for the neighbours, and I don't think they'll ever miss us, Or those late nights trying to fight us and never doing it. We were young, we were dumb, yeah, we were invincible. And all I wanted from the moment it started was to walk back through that door. But we keep the party alive, singing..
4.
Turn It Out 02:29
Moved all my shit out of the apartment and left myself somewhere in transit. Halfway between nervous breakdown and six feet underwater. "Don't worry, I can handle it." I'm getting caught inside the lines between the lines and it feels like hell. I haven't talked to anyone in a couple days, I'm not feeling like myself. Turn, turn it out. Turn, turn it out. Man overboard and I'm sinking. Turn, turn it out. Turn, turn it out. This year is gonna kill me. Bending over backwards, frame's starting to splinter. This body hasn't felt like a temple in months. All duct tape and rusted parts. I guess eventually, it starts to feel like home. You're always saying not to worry, but you don't listen to yourself. I haven't talked to anyone in a couple days, I'm hiding out in my own hell. I hope you're well. Turn, turn it out. Turn, turn it out. Man over board and I'm sinking. Turn, turn it out. Turn, turn it out. This year is gonna kill me. Turn, turn it out. Turn, turn it out. Man over board and I'm sinking. Turn, turn it out. Turn, turn it out. This year is gonna kill me.
5.
Skidnuts 02:34
I got a pocket full of change but it's almost my shift. No more roses or chocolates, no, none of that shit. Had to beat down my feelings to think clearly again. My conscious is rocky and spirits at end. I found out why I'm getting oh so cold. When the conscious of my life is more than 10 times old I know how it goes. She knows how I'm slow. But not another little word of that please, I'm getting too old. So run free, run righteous, run dark. I'm lifeless. So deep, Deep down in that fortress. One stays in touch with me, because I'm taking the obvious. So blooming is this new trend and it's been that way, I've been trying it out, I ain't seen nothing in days, But I guess an A for effort for the things that are here. It's easy to cry when you think nothing is fair. So count to 10 with me and you will see it's all that easy. Forgetting how we got here is the contradictory. If you're shooting down my messages, have fun in the past. Making cases like the law will just make me laugh . So run free, run righteous, run dark. I'm lifeless. So deep, Deep down in that fortress. One stays in touch with me because I'm taking the obvious.
6.
I just wanna feel complete With you, with me, with everything You left me stuck in disbelief, What does this all even mean? Darlin, don't you waste another second of your life, Waiting on the moments and the memories in your mind, Testing your inhibitions as you draw outside the lines, Breaking in the end, cause in the end, it's not right I just wanna feel at ease, With you, with me, with anything, You left me stuck in disbelief, What does this all fuckin' mean Darlin, don't you waste another second of your life, Waiting on the moments and the memories in your mind, Testing your inhibitions as you draw outside the lines, Breaking in the end, cause in the end, it's not right
7.
Coda 05:44
Burn away the house we built when we were younger. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. I was afraid to fade away if I ever stopped speaking your name. Or let that light illuminate the years in any other shade. Now I don't recognize myself so well anymore. Start, replay. Bury myself in a memory. Cut the cord, detach myself from feeling anything. Creature comfort digging into skin and I'm not really here. Dragging out the days as if I ever had a doubt that I was around. Was I ever around? How have I failed you now? Slow down. Let me out, I can't bare to stick around if the sound doesn't ring true. I'm not sure I could tell now. Peel the skin away, blossom now into something new. Leave behind the failures, you can't live this your whole life. We weren't meant to feel so alone. We weren't meant to feel so alone together. Wash me away, clean your body of my memory. When the sun rises again, I am gone.
8.
I've been going out of my mind, you're speaking low in the next room. When I see you, there's no light. Just a shadow wearing your skin. What doesn't kill me knows more about me than I'm comfortable living with. What doesn't kill me speaks so sweet, and sickly, I'm conditioned to believe it and I'm falling apart. So go on, oh, go on, go on and tell me everything's alright. You're spitting flowers, you're smiling right, but all I'm feeling are teeth and thorns, it keeps me up at night. What doesn't kill me knows more about me than I'm comfortable living with. What doesn't kill me speaks so sweet, and sickly, I'm conditioned to believe it. Man, I'm falling apart. So go on, oh, go on, go on and tell me everything's alright.
9.
In these crowded rooms, we could be anyone. Speaking in drunken tongue, this could be anyone. In these crowded rooms, we could be anyone. Slipping off the tip of our tongue, this could be anyone. And the noise patrol is keeping our heads from exploding into the night sky. But we dance until our eyes get sore, dance, dance, dance the night away. I know soon we'll be finding each other while the whole world's spinning 'round, spinning around. I know soon we'll be singing together while the world's spinning 'round, spinning around. In these crowded rooms, we could be anyone. Celebrating dangerous nights, this could be anyone. All our mouths give out the sound of the reckless disregard for everything we can find. 'cause we're young and these things just happen, yeah. We're young and these things just happen, yeah. We're young and these things just happen, yeah. I know soon we'll be finding each other while the whole world's spinning 'round, spinning around. I know soon we'll be singing together while the world's spinning 'round, spinning around. All hands on deck, the captain's drowning in the poison again. We go another round, another round, another round tonight. In these crowded rooms, we could be anyone. Leave everything at the door tonight, memories waiting to happen. I know soon we'll be finding each other while the whole world's spinning 'round. I know soon we'll be singing together while the world's spinning 'round. Spinning around. All hands on deck, the captain's drowning in the poison again. We go another round, another round, another round tonight.
10.
Chronic Pain 04:02
You're the worst part of me. Hold me down while I'm just trying to be. Is it what I deserve? In slow and bitter waves and I just make it worse I can’t wait for you to leave, you’re dying to stay but it’s killing me. I believe in better days, I'm counting the hours until you go away My weary body running on empty, hopesick and yearning for better days. Weigh me down until I forget what it's like to live without you. I wanna aim for something more than numb Goddamn it, I feel desperate. I'm aching all the time. Can't get my fucking head straight. Where is my peace of mind? And if I knew how to fix this, a machine with faulty gears still fighting. I would do it if I could I can’t wait for you to leave, you’re dying to stay but it’s killing me. I believe in better days. I'm counting the hours til you go away.
11.
This is the part that I can't stand. A swan song too heavy to sing. My heart feels too sick and I swear the lights have dimmed. And time slows as that sun sets. I'd give anything to stop it. You were the roots beneath this family tree. Those rough hands help up the world somehow. It feels like the sky is crashing. I'm shaking myself out of my body. I don't wanna be here if this is happening. Nothing to do, nothing to say. We beg the machines, they say 'nothing will change' I hope you felt love as you closed your eyes. And I'll always be trying to live in your light.

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released September 6, 2019

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Monach Kingston, Ontario

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